How to Overcome Perfectionism and Trust Yourself Again in Midlife

Mary came to me wanting confidence to try new ideas.

She was coming to the end of her first year of a ceramics course.

As a seasoned entrepreneur, you’d think she would be always trying new things. But... “I stop myself from exploring ideas,” she told me, “I want to get it right on the first go”.

Her perfectionism came from early childhood, where there were expectations of perfection in every area of her life – her behaviour, her appearance, her grades at school. Her parents were strict, and her sibling was a bully.

“I was a round peg in a square hole in that family”.

It was a tumultuous household, her parents fighting making her want to stay under the radar.

She never asked for help.

By week four of her program, Mary was keeping a notebook of creative ideas, researching techniques, and experimenting with new ones. A few weeks later she was sketching ideas every day. She felt confident in her exploration and was planning to ask her teacher for assistance to do something different from the curriculum.

Mary began to walk regularly. She’s much more mindful of what she is eating, and exercising portion control.

Mary has decluttered her adult children's’ school projects and artworks, as well as decades of old projects and course work of her own.

A market stall to sell her work has been planned, with a fellow student.

A few weeks ago, Mary told me, “I feel confident and comfortable in where I’m going. I have a plan and I trust my ideas, trust where I’m going, trust myself. It’s exciting and I feel good about it!”

By exploring Mary’s deepest yearning, uncovering what was really holding her back, and giving her the tools to think differently, she is making big, broad, positive changes in her life. Her confidence and self-trust has given her the freedom to play with new ideas without worrying about the outcome – and she’s getting great results!

By shifting a fundamental belief about herself, Mary has changed her life for the better.